Uburyo bwo kwitwararika ukwigumira mu mutekano (umutekano wacu)

Kuguma mu mutekano, ni ukuvuga kwitaho ineza yawe n’iy’abandi. Uko tugenda dukura, niko uburyo twiyumvira, dutegera tukiyumvira isi idukikije bukinduka. Dusanga twarafashe akaranga twisangije, twarapfunditse ubwoko bushasha bw’imigenderanire, kandi tukama turiko turapima n’ugukora canke kuvumbura utuntu dushasha. Ni ikiringo twumva dufise ubwigenge, twubahuka cane hamwe umengo ntacohava kitunanira, kandi mbere tukiyumvira ko ata na kimwe gishobora kutugirira nabi ; ariko rero, mu vy’ukuri, hari ibintu vyinshi bishobora kuduhanamira bikatugirira nabi, ugasanga ari ngombwa ko tumenya uburyo twokwikingira twebwe nyene.

Agakukuro k’urunganwe (pression des pairs)

Abagenzi ni ikintu gihambaye, ariko urashobora gusanga rimwe na rimwe bagerageza kudukoresha ibintu tudashaka gukora, canke tuzi ko tutotegerejwe gukora. Igihe wumva uri mu bintu bitagusobanukiye canke bituma wumva utamerewe neza, kurikira umutima wawe, wubahuke wikurire meza, uhave.

Ugusagirizwa n’ukwagagazwa bifatiye ku gitsina (harcèlement sexuel)

Guhogoza uvuga ibintu bijanye n’igitsina canke n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, canke kwita umuntu (« akayabu ») -- uko ni ugusagiriza n’ukwagagaza umuntu mu buryo bufatiye ku gitsina, ahubwo mbere harimwo n’akantu k’ihohoterwa rifatiye ku gitsina. Aho bibabarije, nuko imisi yose, abigeme n’abagore benshi bahohoterwa muri ubwo buryo. Ivyo birashobora kubakanga, kubashavuza. Canke kubababaza ku mutima bigatuma usanga bijiriwe. Ntihotegerejwe kuba abantu basanga bamerewe nkuko, kandi ivyo bizohagarikwa nuko twese turwanije inyifato nkiyo yo guhohotera abandi bifatiye ku gitsina.

Igihe uri kumwe n’umurwi w’abagenzi bariko baratukana, biroroshe cane kwinumira, bakiryanira. Ariko rero, udakuyeko n’umunwa, ako gacerere kawe kereka abandi ko ataco, ko ibitutsi vyemewe, maze ugaca uba nk’umuntu ariko yirabira ibirori canke ibikino (un "spectateur") –ni ukuvuga umuntu ahagarara ngaho akarorera ntakore n’ikintu na kimwe. Ntukabe umurorerezi!

Inzoga ziborera (alcool) n’ibiyayuramutwe

Abantu benshi baranywa inzoga ziborera n’ibindi biyayuramutwe (drogues) kugira ngo binezereze, canke kugira ngo bumve bamerewe neza. Kunywa ku muntu akiri muto, ubwonko bwiwe bukiriko burakura butera imbere, birashobora kugira ingaruka mbi, ugasanga hari ico vyononye. Rimwe na rimwe, inzoga ziborera n’ibindi biyayuramutwe birashobora gutuma abantu baca bakunda gusotora n’ukuvyonga abandi, bashavura, canke mbere ugasanga bituma bakunda gusindira abandi no kurwana, cane cane iyo banyoye vyinshi. Birashobora no gutuma nyene kubinywa afata ingingo zitabereye mu bijanye n’imimibonano mpuzabitsina n’iyindi migenderanire. Niba uburyo unywa inzoga ziborera n’ibiyayuramutwe bigutera umutima uhagaze, wewe nyene canke ibinyoobwa n’umugenzi wawe, biyagire umuntu ashobora kugufasha/kubafasha.

Uguhohoterwa

Ukubona inyifato ifatiye ku guhohotera abandi mu muryango, canke bikorwa n’uwo musanganywe (partenaire), canke mbere guhohoterwa wewe nyene, biratungurana, ugasanga abantu baguye mu gahundwe. Ni uburenganzira bwa buri muntu kwumva ko ari mu mutekano : ntawotegerejwe kwumva ko ahanamiwe canke ari mu vyago, na cane cane mu nzu yiwe asanzwe abamwo (rondera kurushirizaho kumenya akamaro k’imigenderanire myiza ibereye). Urwaruka rugendana ubumuga rushobora kuba arirwo dukunda gusanga rugeramirwa n’imigenderanire ifatiye ku guhohoterwa n’ukununuzwa imitsi (exploitation) : nico gituma birushirizaho kuba ngombwa kuhagabira. Ubonye uhohoterwa mu buryo ubwo aribwo bwose, rondera uwogufasha/abogufasha kugira ngo wewe n’abandi bagize umuryango wawe mushobore kwiberaho mw’itekane, bongere bagufashe gutorera inyishu ico kibazo ufise wewe nyene canke mufise hamwe n’abo mu muryango wawe. Uko gufatwa mu mugongo kugumaho, mbere no mu kiringo ca COVID-19.